Diary of a Real-Life Bridget Jones
Just finished watching the DVD of Bridget Jones' Diary.
Have decided that taking control of my own life is long overdue. Must begin doing the
1) Get no-good, although undeniably sexy (in a starving-artisan kind of
way), commitment-phobia male out of my life once and for all (which shouldn't
be too hard, since I haven't heard from him for nearly six months now).
Amendment: Stop waiting for aforementioned no-good starving artisan to
email, phone, write or turn up on my doorstep with the twenty quid he still
owes me telling me that he got it all wrong and wants to have my children.
2) Stop forming unrequited attachments to confused comedians, actors and
other unstable types in order to get over no-good sexy artisan.
3) Begin lying about my age, in order to avoid comments from smug
married-type people about clocks ticking and "you career girls." (Dinner
party scene in film hit home far too hard.)
4) Will begin to actually use year-old gym membership and hire personal
trainer on a more regular basis than once every blue moon.
5) Will actually enjoy next six weeks of taking care of my 14 month old
niece, despite her breaking my favourite coffee cup, throwing up on the
couch, waking up at 3am and not giving her aunt time to finish her latest
script draft, by remembering that if she wasn't here I'd probably have done
all of the above without her help anyway.
6) Will get a haircut.
7) Will not allow infuriating male friend to wind me up about boyfriends and
how I "need a man" by remembering that he probably just fancies me, but won't
do anything about it because I terrify him.
8) Will also get a manicure and massage.
9) Will be grateful that I can get out of bed when I like, wear my pajamas
all day and eat ice-cream out of the tub if I feel like it.
10) Will attempt to eat more salads.
11) Will not be jealous of girlfriends who have nice stable live-in lovers
who do the dishes and cook them meals by remembering that stability doesn't
always equal satisfaction or happiness (well, not all the time anyway).
12) Will focus more on my acting work by sending my stuff out to casting
agents to remind them that I haven't completely gone off the radar.
13) Will stop sounding like a pathetic late-twenty something spinster
actress/filmmaker who is obsessed with her career and finding the right man.
14) Will find the right man.
Just got email from no-good sexy artisan saying
that he hasn't forgotten about the twenty quid and maybe we should discuss giving
it another go ...
15) Will look into Colin Firth's availability and location and move there.
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