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Internet Brothers: Helpware for the Cybercommunity - Lucid Confusion
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Random Thoughts On the Meaning of Life

March 4, 2000 - I'm excited to introduce you to Wally Gross, Executive Vice President of The Technomax Group. Creator of the highly respected and net icon Surfers Choice Internet Awards, Wally has been a model of the search for web excellence since Netscape was just a gleam in Marc Andreeson's eye. I just happened to catch Mr. Gross the same week he was interviewed by Wired magazine, but I think you'll like mine better. Join Wally and me as we talk about web longevity, site promotion and marketing, and Internet privacy.

March 1, 2000 - Jill Keogh sent me these thoughts about time today. You astutely sense "time" as a factor with me. It is indeed a big motivator. I can't stand to have my hair colored cause I can't tolerate sitting at the salon for 3 hours. I don't like to shop because I don't feel I need anything, and I don't enjoy it cause I feel I should be somewhere else. The only time I have peace, and I'm not in a hurry, and don't think I should be elsewhere, is when I am with my family, and when I'm on the computer learning something new or even emailing my friends.

I believe it will all come full circle. People will have their full share of the Net — of the paradoxical time saving features that make them run faster, will order online when they really are in a hurry, not just because they can. And they will long to walk up town to the quaint shops (which will revive if they crumbled during the age of ether). And not want to make their elevator ride seem faster by watching the Net on their 30 second ride, and will have forgotten that uncomfortable elevator silence. And they will want to go to the zoo, even though they have no children.

February 28, 2000 - I couldn't help but laugh. It was sad, but I'm sorry, it was uproariously funny too. I took my Buick to the dealer this morning for some warranty work, and as I was walking out, in pulls this fellow from a test-drive who had to be at least 95 years old, if he was a day, in of all things, a brand new 2000 model Pontiac Grand Prix SE. Bear with me on this one.

2000 Pontiac Grand Prix SE So I'm watching him, and after a few moments it becomes obviously apparent that he can't get the door open to get out. He's lookin' around, head goes up and down, left and right. He starts pushing every button in site, and even stuff that isn't buttons. Must've been three or four minutes. I couldn't stand it. Finally, he looks up and his glance catches mine. The look on his face spoke volumes, but what it said to me was, "Help!"

I looked through his window and immediately recognized the problem. He still had it in gear. Child, and senior, safety locks. As I'm helping him out, he puts his hand on my shoulder for thanks, and simply utters two words, "Nice car."

February 27, 2000 - Been renewing old acquaintances and making some new ones this weekend. Just for something a little different, why not pay these nice girls and boys a visit. Kimberly Warzelhan, Lauranna, mizKitty, and Wally Gross. No charge.

February 26, 2000 - I've got so much nicotine and caffeine running through my veins tonight I'm liable to have an out-of-body experience. Don't tell anyone, but I was up until 4AM last night (this morning), then back at it at 9AM. As I put this night to rest another 17 hours later, I'm thankful for the content development roll I was on, but hurtin' for certain. What? Oh, never mind. Thought I heard something.

February 25, 2000 - In perhaps the ultimate irony in the continuing saga of Distributed Denial of Service attacks being executed against some of the largest corporate web sites, the FBI has admitted to being one of the latest victims. And I thought they were providing a free software tool that could detect the hacks used to propagate this despicable vandalism. Run for cover; the sky is falling.

February 23, 2000 - Emotional pain, oft times more agonizing than physical pain. I simply cannot imagine the anguish the mother of the 6 year old boy dragged to his death by a carjacker in Independence, Missouri must be feeling tonight. Mistakes were made by many. This story is bound to capture the nation's attention over the coming days. Think of everyone involved in your prayers.

February 22, 2000 - Some of the dates in this new year seem strange. Take today for example: 02/22/2000, or I guess in Europe, 22/02/2000. I read somewhere that 888 was the last year before this one that had all even numbers. None of this has anything to do with anything, but hey, it is lucid confusion.

West Virginia FloodingFebruary 19, 2000 - I've heard of raining cats and dogs, but it rained so hard for so long here yesterday, my dogs wanted nothing to do with it. They absolutely refused to go outside. This is not your normal occurance. The helicopters and lifeboats were out all day rescuing people trapped by high water. I've got a lot of mud to contend with today, but fortunately none of it's inside.

February 18, 2000 - What is up with gasoline? 10 cents a week increase for the past month. I read in the newspaper that prices are the highest ever in West Virginia. I realize a 2000 dollar isn't worth as much as a 1970s era dollar, but still. I know a gallon of gas can't remain cheaper than a gallon of bottled water forever, but it doesn't have to increase 40% in a month either. It ain't all OPEC.

February 17, 2000 - "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so," author Douglas Adams said. Case in point.

February 14, 2000 - Lucked out today. The wife actually liked her Valentine gift. Have you ever heard that radio ad for digital cell phones where the schmuck with the analog phone gets his girlfriend a camp stove? "You said camisole?" Oops. That's usually my luck, but I'm on the "good list" today.

February 13, 2000 - I've been using the Internet for six years now, but never had the occasion in all that time to sign on AOL. I was visiting a friend today who has it. What a convoluted mess. It's like Orwell's 1984. For those netizens who have only experienced AOL, the truth shall set you free.

February 12, 2000 - Today is my stepdaughter's 27th birthday. Nothing strange about that particular year, other than that's the age her mother was when we married. Weird. Does that mean an entire generation has passed? Happy birthday Anna!

Do you have lucid confusion? Tell us about it on our comments page. Proceed to the next page for more lucid confusion.


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You know times are changing when your daughter is selling Girl Scout cookies from her Web site.

 

 

 

 

 

Whenever I see everyone rushing in one direction, I know it's time to move the other way.

 

 

 

 

 

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