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Internet Brothers: Helpware for the Cybercommunity - Lucid Confusion
Joe Jenett's dailywebthing as featured on


Random Thoughts On the Meaning of Life


January 18, 2000 - One man's trash is another man's treasure. As I was doing a semi-centurial office purge today, the cube critters swarmed like vultures. First the old floppies went in the trash bin, followed immediately by neighbor 253. Then, as the CDs went bouncing, including at least 2400 free hours of AOL, cubester 258's CD mural became infinitely more luminous. Not to be out done, "You're throwin' those away?" resonated through the aisle as the cubeform in 256 discovered the pile of unwanted 8mm tapes in the bottom of the dumpster. Tomorrow I get to see what treasures they have buried under two tons of Cheetos dust. Almost makes it worth scraping the windshield.

Give Me Net! January 16, 2000 - People who can do something about broadband Internet access don't have a clue. My cable company fibered their network two full years ago now. What did they use it for? More worthless, sense-densing television stations. I've given the Internet 101 lecture to the General Manager at least a dozen times. All I can figure is he must not like money.

To all the control-hording automatons sitting on bandwidth goldmines, I'm hurtin' out here! Give me Net. The explosive growth has slowed dial-in modems to a crawl at the same time every day, even weekends now. You can set your sundial by it. What's the use in one of the hot, new 800 mhz PCs? It's like driving a Ferrari in a school zone.

January 14, 2000 - Adversity often brings out the best in people. During my recent web host fiasco, one of my good Net friends who shared the same host, Tom Speer, suffered an even worse fate. My site was just down a lot. Tom's was wiped from the face of the earth, twice. Yet through it all he maintained his focus on his customers first. We've both now successfully moved. If you get a chance, please stop by Fortress Design, sign Tom's guest book, and tell him you're glad he's back on the air.

January 13, 2000 - The next time you're debating whether to wash your hands after using the restroom, consider this. Would you want to shake hands with someone who just came from there? Be considerate of others; it only takes a moment.

January 12, 2000 - Switching web hosts is a royal pain, particularly when you can't do it in a controlled fashion on your own terms. I won't bore you with details, but will offer advice to make the task easier if it happens to you. Be sure you have all your "production" files in directories by themselves. Don't have your development images, scripts, and other objects scattered about with the good stuff; you won't be sure what you need to upload, and what you don't. I'm sure I'll be visiting this topic in more depth in a formal article.

January 10, 2000 - One of the most creative webmasters on the planet, Joe Jenett, saw fit to include our little piece of confusion on his dailywebthing. Right up there with Zeldman. Imagine that.

January 9, 2000 - Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is 'Share the love." Beeeeeep ... "Uh, yeah ... this is the VD clinic calling ... Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love."

January 8, 2000 - If you need an answer to anything; and I mean just about anything, you might be well served to start at The House of Dave.

January 6, 2000 - Dogs are so lovable; and aggravating. When I got home from work, I went to let my greyhound, Nick, out for a stroll around the yard. He's a wimp when it comes to cold weather, so he opted to stay indoors. After putzing around for awhile, I settled in for a brief nap. Two minutes after dozing off, Nick starts whining deciding he's ready to go outside. Never fails. For other real-life dog adventures, visit Anonymomma.

January 5, 2000 - Went to my grandson's 2nd birthday party this evening. It's no wonder babies talk like they do. All they hear from grown adults is googlespeak. I resolve to speak with him like I do any other mature person. Come to think of it, he was one of the more mature people at the party.

January 2, 2000 - There are some very nice people on the Internet in the wee-wee hours late at night. I had a delightful conversation with one of them last night. Why not take a few minutes to go meet Joanne, the netstar.

no cheese for me, please January 1, 2000 - Why can't you get anything plain anymore? I'm sick and tired of producers feeling they have to liven things up with flavors, extras, enhanced options. Just give me a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, without cheese, please. And I'd like some plain, ol' french fries with that. I don't want them curly; I don't want them tasting like a spice rack; I just want plain, regular french fried potatoes. Please!

And whatever happened to potato chips? Now they come barbecued, ranched, like something you would put on a garden salad, in a can, in a box, everything but just plain, greasy potato chips out of a bag. Pretzels with chocolate or honey mustard, corn chips with vinegar and oil, telephones that do your laundry. Where will it all stop?

just a small glass of water please Does it also seem like you just can't get a small drink anymore? You know, just a short little 6-8 ounce glass of water, or other refreshment. Everyone has free refills and start you with enough liquid to water you and your horse too? How could you ever have room to get a refill without going to the restroom three times during your meal? Oh, and by the way, they now charge three times as much as a small drink. Idiot marketing experts.

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