28th of October 2000
I spent all day yesterday being fussy, cranky, disappointed, and ungrateful. When the eye surgeon removed my patch I hurt, I hurt bad. The lights and sun wore me out. The eye chart told the story, only 20/40. Two-eyed vision was blurry and out of focus. You see, I got spoiled. Last week's first surgery was so remarkable, I came to expect the same for the second eye. The doc told me these results were more the norm. The first had been extraordinary. Still, I was in pain all day. I wallowed in self-pity because I was in too much of a hurry. I projected unrealizable results.
Then a funny thing happened. I stayed away from the computer all day to rest and avoid the light, but right before retiring for the night I couldn't resist. So I put on my sunglasses and made the rounds of all my friends. I discovered and remembered there are people with better reasons than mine to be afraid and confused. And there were others who reached out, offering compassion and a helping hand. They reminded me of the importance of gratitude.
Finally, I came upon a dear old friend's kindly invitation to remember what this really is all about. For just a little while I was able to forget my pain and get into recovery to think about what will be, not what is to remember that, after all, it was only the first day. When measured yesterday, the first eye now has better than 20/20 vision after just one week. That truly is a miracle. It is cause for celebration, not for cranky irritability. So I spoke to the palette and I am better. Enjoy this wonderful life one day at a time.
Oh, and Happy Birthday Red. Feeling old at 25? Pleh!
26th of October 2000
I'm off to see the Laser, the Wonderful Laser of Eyez.
Update. Back home from the second surgery and all appears to have gone well, again. I will know more tomorrow when the doc removes the patch. Thanks to everyone for your nice thoughts. I am very lucky to have such caring friends.
25th of October 2000
So far today, God, I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over-indulgent. I'm grateful for that. But in a minute, God, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot of help. So will everyone's friend Jeffrey. Please be with him. Amen.
24th of October 2000
It can be advantageous to be home injured and pitiable. Lynn fixed homemade oatmeal raisin cookies, my favorite. Yum. I also get to skip my weekly chores like trash collection and grocery shopping. I promise not to milk this circumstance for all it's worth. I also promise to love, respect and obey. Scouts honor. Really. No, really.
Sorry I've been short on linkage in recent days. I'm still having to limit my viewing pleasure. Short bursts, about ten minutes at a time, is all the eye can handle. I don't want to strain it, but am also trying to give it exercise and adjustment. Colors are a LOT brighter. Very cool. So if you're tiring of my opthalmic ramblings, there's lots to discover at Weblogs.com and Blogstart. Go there now. I won't be offended.
23rd of October 2000
Keep those cards and letters coming. It really does help to know so many of you out there are concerned about my well-being. The kindness and comfort has been overwhelming I can't thank you enough. Getting a little better each day. I managed to go through the whole day yesterday without breaking another toe on the coffee table. Of course that could be because my wife moved it out of the living room so I would quit tripping on it. For those who have been asking, the next surgery is first thing Thursday morning.
My problems are but small potatoes when stacked up against world events and personal tragedies. It's often easy to lose perspective. Recent days have seen one good friend mark the 10th anniversary of his twin's passing, another who waits in quiet solitude for life without his mother, a champion of strength who faces her own terminal illness by offering love and compassion to those who have touched her, and a dear brother who faces a weighty decision. Be at peace sweet friends; my prayers are with you now, and forever.
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