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22nd of July 2000

     Now there's a lively debate on MetaFilter, finally. I haven't seen this hot discussion since the heyday of the browser wars. Reasoned experts making logical arguments on all sides. It's why I love the Internet.

     Web presentation continues to get better and better every day. As the nominations pour in for IB Presents web awards, the selection of the top 5% of applicants becomes exceedingly more difficult. But it's a pleasurable difficulty. The quest for excellence in web development is definitely alive and well, and I am thoroughly enjoying each new discovery. Thank you, and that's why the debate above is so important.


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21st of July 2000

     Do Canada geese like yellow? There is this flock of Canadian geese that hangs out in the yard of the building I work in. There's a nice pond nearby, a good supply of freshly mown grass, no traffic — basically your fine goose habitat. So out walks this woman in bright yellow to catch some fresh air and the geese are all over her like what they leave on the sidewalks. Never happened before. I noticed later in the day she peeked around the corner first.


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20th of July 2000

     Twenty-four useless facts?

  1. My new molar crown is two weeks old.
  2. I am a descendant of John Alden & Priscilla Mullens. Look it up.
  3. I have hair, but my brother doesn't. Nyah.
  4. More animals than people live here.
  5. I used to drink.
  6. I am not Bill Gates.
  7. Tiger Woods and I drive Buick Regals.
  8. I did so much programming in my 20s & 30s I burned out.
  9. Books made my eyes go bad.
  10. My navel is definitely where it should be.
  11. Shoes make my feet sweat.
  12. Tatoos are narcissistic.
  13. I think he is wrong.
  14. Briefs, with legs.
  15. My boss makes me wear a pager. I keep the battery dead.
  16. Deepleap is Ben Brown. Ptui.
  17. Popcorn makes me fart.
  18. I think my wife is wicked sexy.
  19. She proves it in the dark.
  20. Music gets me in trouble.
  21. Coffee tastes like wet dirt.
  22. I think there are stupid weblog activities.
  23. What, can't get a job?
  24. Blow it out your nose.


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19th of July 2000

     Just when you think you've got a handle on the latest Web technology and graphics, something new comes along. If you haven't yet heard of the wireless revolution hanging on the horizon, you aren't reading enough technology media. The latest platform you'll soon be asked to design for is WAP (Wireless Application Protocol).

     WAP allows people-on-the-go to use wireless devices, such as cellular phones or hand-held PIMs, to surf the Net. Web pages for wireless devices use WML (Wireless Markup Language) to deliver content. WML has quite a few page width, length, and formatting limitations. In addition, WML and WAP support only one graphics file format, WBMP. Although the WML, WAP, and WBMP acronyms may be new to you, get used to them — most likely you'll be designing for this new community of Internet users very soon.

     WBMP is a 1-bit (black and white) format no larger than 150 pixels wide or high. Currently, core Adobe Photoshop does not support the WBMP graphics file format. However, there are BMP-to-WBMP converters that can convert a Photoshop 1-bit BMP to a WBMP. To download a free BMP-to-WBMP converter application, go to Gingco.


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18th of July 2000

     I'm with Matt Rossi, likening Internet development to an "embryonic state." Nobody knows how to do this stuff. We are all just kinda making it up as we go along. It's like David Weinberger said in The Cluetrain Manifesto (thanks to his lemurness for the reminder). "We don't know what the web is for but we've adopted faster than any technology since fire."

     The arguments over what is good and what is bad on the Internet are moot. The Internet just is. Yes, a lot of it is boring; so is most television, film, and even the public library. So is this log, most of the time. Whether you're a designer, writer, programmer, or simply a voyeur — keep doing it. Fear of failing guarantees you will. Growth, development and enlightenment occurs in this womb. The Net hasn't emerged from it yet, but the birth will be heard.


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17th of July 2000

     The head lemur is at it again, this time offering his latest opinion about web standards relative to Microsoft's recent release of the Internet Explorer 5.5 browser for Windows. Are we getting screwed again?

     Speaking of web standards, I have mixed emotions. Sure standards make the developer's job easier, but I think also stifle imagination and creativity. Proprietary features do enable a certain freedom and leeway for the developer who isn't concerned with commercial eyes, and Microsoft has been the most original with those features, at least IMHO.

     I've learned a lot more as a developer than I ever would have. By being forced to test, test, test on multiple browsers, multiple platforms, multiple resolutions — I develop better technique. With standards you know what you're going to get, but sometimes being able to code around "the book" is more challenging.

     The problem with standards is they get lapped by technology or innovation. Breakthroughs in science make year old (or older) standards obsolete. Remember how we used to hate to buy a new PC because it was already yesterday's system by the time we got it out of the box?

     Interesting search in my referrer logs: "free (ahem) penis enlargement tips." Definitely won't find that on my site, sorry the inquisitor came up short.


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16th of July 2000

     If you had a wish from a genie, what would it be? I've often thought I would love to be able to talk with animals, like Dr. Dolittle. If you've ever had pets you probably know where I'm coming from. It's those looks you get. I want to ask them are you hungry? Are you feeling all right? Do you want to go outside? Why are you licking that used handkerchief?

     But it's much more than that really. I would hope to learn what they think of us. I would want to know about their senses; what do they see, feel, taste, hear and smell. Are they bored or content, do they feel imprisoned or enraptured? The unconditional love one receives from an animal is rarely experienced in the human environment. Is that because they don't know cynicism, because they haven't learned mistrust?

     They cry when we leave — howl and prance upon our return. What was going through their minds while we were away? This one particular dog I have is plagued with horrible rheumatoid arthritis. I wish I knew his overriding emotion. Does his severe pain outweigh his obvious joy? Is the playfulness he exhibits just his way of coping with the crippling condition? Yep, I would wish for better communication with them — and with you.

 

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An angry bartender was closing up for the night when he heard a knock at the door. He opened the door, didn't see anybody, and was about to close the door when a voice called, "Hey, down here." The bartender looked down and saw a snail. "Hey," the snail asked, "how about a drink?"

The angry bartender snarled, "First of all, we're closed. Secondly, we don't serve snails." And with that, the bartender kicked the snail all the way across the street.

A month later, the same angry bartender was closing up for the night when there was a knock at the door. He opened the door, and there was the same snail from last month. "You know," the snail said, "you didn't have to kick me."

 

 

 

 

A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. From across the room, their waitress noticed the man begin to slowly slide down in his chair, while the woman remained unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair, and went out of sight under the table and tablecloth. The woman continued to remain calm and unruffled.

The waitress was unable to contain her curiosity. She went over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly replied, "No he didn't. My husband just walked in the door."

 

 

 

 

A mother and her small daughter were in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab when her daughter noticed several wildly-dressed women loitering on a nearby street corner. The mother hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the daughter asked her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"

Her mother replied, "Honey, those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come home from work."

The cabbie, upon hearing this exchange, turned to the mother and said, "Ahhhhhhh, c'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! Them there ladies are hookers!"

The mother said nothing. But after a brief period of silence, the daughter asked, "Mommy, do the hooker ladies have children?"

The mother replied, "Of course, dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"

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