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Where do your dollars go?
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1st of July 2000

     I always welcome the new month with mixed blessing. I get paid from my real job on the last working day of each month, so yesterday was payday. The bank account looked nice. I had a swagger to my gait and a couple Jacksons in my pocket. That feeling lasts for about 12 hours, because the first of the new month means it's time to pay all the bills.

     It usually starts innocently enough, a job to do, let's get this chore out of the way. As time wears on and the checkbook balance dwindles, my mood changes from tedium, to concern, to anger, and finally to wild-eyed desperation. You mean I have to make that piddly amount last a whole month? Looks like bologna sandwiches for lunch long about the 20th.

link to this entry Copyright Saucy Tomato Design

30th of June 2000

     If there is a kinder, more helpful and talented couple in the multimedia design community than Pat and Elise Tomek, I'd sure like to meet them. Together they comprise Saucy Tomato Design, a free-lance desktop publishing, print and web design business located in Kansas City, Missouri. Individually, they are two of the wittiest trash twinkies in weblogging circles.

     With musician Pat espousing his infinite wisdom about all things Macintosh at Forty-two, and red-head Elise reminding us each day not to take ourselves too seriously at Swallowing Tacks, it's easy to see the joy these two derive from their avocation and the love that emanates between them.

     And don't miss the webcam props. I know first-hand the helpful nature of Elise and Pat and the passion they exhibit in their work. I have been the fortunate recipient of their zest for sharing. Professional excellence is their heart; unselfish kindness is their soul. So why am I telling you all this? Well, why not?

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29th of June 2000

     Never underestimate the value of external included files for ease of maintenance on your web site. I've always tried to place common code, navigation for example, in external files so I can update the entire site in one place. However, in order to enhance the hierarchical menus in the Helpware section for Macintosh IE5, I had to update the code that calls the external files. Nearly 300 pages later, my fingers are sore. I hope the Mac folks appreciate it.

     Speaking of little used browsers, I see where Netscape 4 has now dropped to only 15% market share. After the struggle I had making the new DHTML layer animation tip work in Netscape, I can see why developers have been dropping support recently. I gave up entirely on Netscape 6; couldn't make the animation work at all.

link to this entry Adobe Photoshop

28th of June 2000

     Just for yucks, here's an Easter Egg I learned about today. While Photoshop 4 was under development, its code name was Big Electric Cat. As homage to that creative name, Adobe added to version 4 a secret splash screen with a portrait of BEC. The code name for version 5 was Strange Cargo (BEC was placed inside). As before, Adobe added a surprise.

     To see the secret splash screen, press Ctrl-Alt in Windows and choose Help, About Photoshop. On the Macintosh, press Command-Option and choose Apple Menu, About Photoshop. Apparently, the Adobe folks were too busy to come up with a code name for Photoshop 5.5, but you can still see the Strange Cargo splash screen. OK, break's over, back to work.

     Aw, c'mon. You'd make a great den mother.

link to this entry Webelos - Copyright BSA

27th of June 2000

      Hey Graham! Actually it's more like Order of Webelos, but thanks much for the plug. Just don't let Boris know. It's odd, I was thinking today (shut up, I know it's dangerous), every face in the Rogues Gallery at IB Community is on the trustworthy side of forty. Stature, stamina, experience. How do you get to be an oldtimer? Don't die. C'mon kiddies — show us your stuff — or don't ya have anything to say?


link to this entry Two Fiends - Photo by Lynn Clark

26th of June 2000

     This funny man is my best friend. Sure there are four other lovable ones around here that I have to compete with, but he hangs on me like hot tar on the bottom of your paws. I've had a tough life. Epilepsy since I was a pup, progressive rheumatoid arthritis for the past four years. But I take my medicine like a trooper and I'm the happiest dog you will ever meet.

     The photo here was taken today right after a surprise June thunderstorm caught us both unaware. I can't get around too well by myself because of the arthritis, so he came to help me as usual and we got soaked. Boy was he pissed! But I stuck my tongue up his nose and he's all better now.

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25th of June 2000

     My web award somehow got mentioned in a Tucows tutorial a couple weeks ago. It seems they think I design attractive award graphics. If they only knew the true nature of my artistic ability perhaps they would select another, more appropriate representative sample.

     The traffic boost from the popular Tucows site has been noticable. I'm grateful — problem is the tutorial is included in the midst of their beginner's HTML section. Think about that for a minute. Beginner's HTML, first web site, free web servers with dozens of popup interstitials. Get the picture?

     Nowhere in my award criteria does it say newbies need not apply, but... I worked diligently, with help from others, to establish IB Presents as a recognizable award program. It is rated 5.0 by Award Sites and a World's Top Award by Website Awards. I have earned a certain amount of prestige — reputation undeserving of spam applications.

     Tucows, thanks for the plug. Next time, please evaluate the end result of your large audience base. Be considerate of the implications on the other side of your external links. Most of all, ask anyone else about my real artistic ability.



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A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "No, not my brother... he's an idiot!" She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"


"Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"







Don and Frank have walked their dogs along the same route every day for years but never talked. One day Don approached Frank and said, "You know, we see each other everyday but never talk." So Don and Frank became really good friends and came across a bar neither of them had ever been to before. There was a sign that stated, "NO PETS ALLOWED SAVE SEEING-EYE DOGS." Frank said, "Let's find another bar and go there." Don said "No, follow my lead and we can go here."

Don put on dark sunglasses and walked into the bar. The Bartender questioned the greyhound seeing-eye dog, but Don said, "Oh, greyhounds are very loving, loyal and smart", and the bartender let him in. Frank followed suit, and when the bartender questioned the Chihuahua Frank simply stated,

"They gave me a Chihuahua!?!?"






For a little girls birthday her parents decided to let her get a pet. So the next day she went to the pet store. She walked past the puppies, glanced at the kittens, took a look at the fish. She gawked at the lizards and snakes, then decided she wanted a bird.

When they got home they tried to think of a name for the new pet. Then, on the TV, came the dolphin show FLIPPER. The little girl excitedly ran up to her parents saying, "I know what to name the bird!"

"Well what's the name?", the parents asked. "Flipper!", she shouted, "Flipper the bird!"


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